so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
did i just pee glitter
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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