Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
