I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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