North Korea, Best Korea!
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
