Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
