weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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