So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
MIDGETS
????
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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