She said her name was "party"
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
