do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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