Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
