I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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