I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
