meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
