Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
