marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
