You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
