y did u give ur computer a hand job?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
