The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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