Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
