some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The Olympian is in my bed
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
