i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
