I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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