That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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