Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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