my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
"it" just moved
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
