I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
