trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize