We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
