I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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