final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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