Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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