You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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