What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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