Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
