he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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