Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
