This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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