Need sex. Gaining weight.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
