I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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