Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
