dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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