Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
