Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
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