Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize