he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize