I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
