i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
