If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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