New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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