so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
