I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
