i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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