So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
