I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
