A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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