woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
