Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
