Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
