Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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