my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
