I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
