3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
