No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Randomize
