normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
