Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
