Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
i am craving dick and cupcakes
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
